Testament for a true Angel

My Blog was designed for me to express myself and get my daily life off of my chest.
But, there has been a series of events that have got my brain going in a different direction.
I am not one to show emotion, but when I do, it is with a pinch of humor.
Tonight is a different night.
I have only experienced the passing of a select few in my life.
But one in particular has hit me harder than others.
Words can never fully express my gratitide and admiration for this woman.
There are people that cross your life that have a bigger impact then you can ever imagine.
They serve a bigger purpose.
As unfortunate as this passing is, it is not a moment to be sad, but a moment to reflect.

Rachel Anne Gray
She was the most beautiful and inspirational person I have ever had the blessing of meeting.
Granted, we spent 4 years in high school together.
I had one class with her. Beginning drama. Great stories came from that class.
But I never really got to know her.

It wasn't until early August of 2011 that I was graced with her presence again.
I was working a tent at Hot August Nights and it was pure coincidence that I ran into her.
When she approached me, I couldn't get over how beautiful she was.
She was always stunning.
She had a contagious laugh and smile.
But she carried herself in a way that you could not help but notice her and love her.
When she spoke, she spoke with a vivacity for life.
She never had anything negative to say and only wanted the best for everyone.
The words that we exchanged that day will always be ingrained in me.
I have never been so touched by the words of someone that hardly knew me.
But that was the kind of woman she was.

That is what makes Rachel so beautiful.
It is rare to find someone that is as beautiful on the inside as they are on the outside.

It breaks my heart to think that the word lost such a beautiful person
But, at the same time, we have not lost her.
She touched all of us
And she has inspired all of us in one way or another.
She will live on through us all.

Over the last few days I have not stopped thinking about her.
With the very limited time we shared together, she changed me.
She has inspired me to live everyday to the fullest.
To take nothing for granted.
And to love. Unconditionally.

This is my thank you to you Rachel.
For being the amazing woman you are.
For never doubting yourself of others.
And for inspiring all of us.

I can only hope and pray that I will be half the woman that Rachel is.
I know that her journey does not end here on this Earth.
Keep Calm and Rage On my friend.
You will always be in my heart.

Catch up!

I feel like the worlds worst blogger!

My life has been a bit of a whirlwind though the last couple of months.

Since my last ramble, Army man has left.

I am going slightly insane to say the least.

But, before he entered this new chapter in his life, he opened one for the both of us....

BAM!

We are now engaged!

Yay!

I couldn't be happier.

I am sure I will write a blog all about that amazing story, but today is not that day.

Since he has left it has been a challenge for me to function.

I have become so comfortable with him around.

Now I have to re-learn how to be a function member of society on my own.

It's a big world.

I know.

It has been a mess of emotions in my mind over the last 2 weeks.

Like a roller coaster.

First of all,

I am so incredibly proud of him for following his dream.

Not only that, but he is opening up so many doors for our future.

And, let's not forget to mention, anyone who can fly is a BAMF. (excuse my language :D)

But on the flip side, I feel selfish and want him here with me.

I have come to realise the things that I will miss most.

Other than his terrible jokes, handsome smile and his enthusiastic outlook on life

I am going to miss my therapist, partner in crime and best friend.

I realised I was starting to have issues when I was having extensive conversations with my dogs.....

About simple things too... like my day

I was talking to my Mom last night about this

And she reminded me that this is why I started a blog

I knew I started this thing for a reason!!

I am sure I will be on here a lot more over the next few weeks.

So bare with me as I get my feet wet in this thing again.

Handy Woman!

Ok. So we are about to have a massive reality check! When I say "we" I totally mean me! Army man left for a couple of weeks on business. No biggie. This isn't the first time he has left me to fend for myself... anyways... Today, I have attempted to replace a fence board that my lovely fur children destroyed.

*Side note: if you ever want to exhaust your dog(s) just put a fence between it and another dog. Seriously.*

I think we are averaging 1 fence board a month. Now, don't think my minions are the only ones causing the problem... between my 3, 3 to our left, 2 to our right and 1 behind our house... these fences take a beating. Once again, it's math time... that's 9 puppy dogs jumping on the fence. (I should give the neighbors some credit... they have been gracious enough to replace 3... of the 20. no hard feelings here.)I think Army man and I need to start budgeting fence boards into our monthly spending! When Army man built a gate on our side yard, he showed me exactly how do to it. I swear I was listening and watching... but today when it came down to it, I am pretty sure it took me 5x's longer to complete this simple task and I'm pretty sure it is not as good quality as his would have been. But, I made it work.

Lord help me if I have to tackle something more difficult than a fence board.

Reality check accepted.

I'm Back!!

OOOOkkkk

So it has been HOW LONG???

Yeah a bit too much.

Appologies....

Please accept???

Thanks :)

There has just been so much going on

Seriously!!

I know everyone says that they are so busy...

work (blah), school (blah), social life (blah), responsibilities (blah)

But oh my-lanta have I been busy or what!

Let's start off with a H.U.G.E. celebration...

I got straight A's this semester!

Yayyyyyyy!

For those of you who know me well...

this is just crazy

Kiersten + School + work + life = bad combination

at least on the record

I have done nothing but face planted every class I have attempted

so, this is not a mile stone

it's a miracle

When I told the fam bam I think they were in shock

That just makes me laugh

Lots of amazement and disbeliefs

So pat on the back to me!

It feels great to finally reach this goal

and I plan to make every semester this way

Enough about that blah blah boring-ness

In other news

Army Man is leaving

Whaaaaaaaaaaaa

Yup

It's happening

BUT!!!

I cant complain too much.

He is not deploying, he will be staying in the states

I wish I could tell the world what he is doing

Because I am one proud Lady Friend of my Army Man

But

For the sake of him and what he is doing

I won't say.

**Secrets secrets are no fun**

Yeah I know

But,

It will still be rough.

He will be gone for 1-2 years.
That's right...

How will I get by?

I'm still figuring this out

I have the independence thing down

But waiting on a lover is a new thing to me

When I first met my Match.com friend, I knew that this would be inevitable

I am just so thankful that he will be in country.

For all you women out there who have gone through a deployment out of country

PROPS!!

and a pat on the back to you!

It is scary to me

but like all things in life

I am sure I will learn to appreciate and adapt to what has been served my way

So more news on that to come :)

I am sure once he is out of the house,

I will have more time to rant about my life
GOOD news for you?? Just maybe ;)

Speaking of rAnTs
Here is one for you

I love my house

(Army man, if you are reading this, I swear I do, no matter what I say)

The one thing that drives me nuts though is how fast it becomes dirty.
**You're right... there is more than one**
But this one is THE #1

For the longest time I thought it was because of where we live

Fact: the above does contribute to the dirty factor

Fact #2: see below.

Awwww... Nala Bear

I am pretty sure Nala is the number one predator towards the cleanliness of my house

No

I'm positive she is

She will go out side

(Very calmly I might add)

And roll herself around in the biggest dirt pile she can possibly find

THEN

Very calmly once more,

walk to the back door and wait to be let in
*View above please*

Who raised this dog???

Ok

Don't answer that

Those are the only moments I don't want to claim her as mine

Needless to say

My house is 10x's as filthy as it should be

But how can you hate a little lady like this?

She is my favorite

I feel bad saying that

But seriously!

I don't have children, I have dogs.

So

for all of you mother's out there who say you don't have a favorite...

Let's be honest right now

I'm pretty sure you are lying

Everybody has a favorite something

I was an only child and I still don't think I was the favorite ;)

(Love you parents!!!)

So
Moral of this RANT
If any of you are wanting to come clean my house
feel free
anytime...
seriously!
You will be payed in puppy kisses
Maybe food...
 if you're lucky

Firsts

I didn't think that anyone read my RaMbLiNg...

Good to know a FEW of you have asked me when I was going to write again!

Truth is

I have been INCREADIBLY busy

But it's spring break now,
YAAAAY SPRING!
So you can all relax knowing I have time to write ;)

This last week has had a lot of firsts for me.

Let's begin with the fact that I saw my sister for the first time in 10 years

RIGHT?!?!?

Let's not ask the question "Why?"

It's a long story

I don't want to bore you

I'm just glad that I was able to finally see her again

It was crazy weird

I mean

Imagine not talking to someone hardly at all for 10 years

then

BAAAM

She shows up at your work.

"Oh hi there! How are things?"

(If anyone catches that reference, I will give you a dollar.)

From left to right

Little one, Mama Bear, Myself and Sister!!!

**Side note: We are all half sisters, but I think we look a lot a like**

And yes, Mama Bear is young

It can be more fun that way at times!

Don't let her near expensive furniture though....

Bad things can happen.

(She is going to kill me for even saying that much!)

ANYWaaaaays

It was amazing to have us all together again.

They surprised me at work

And I cried

Like

A

Baby

I swore that I wouldn't cry when I saw her

Buuuut

I lied.

I still can't get over how much her and Mama Bear look alike

ANOTHER FIRST!

I thought I was going to go crazy by doing this

but

I took two of my children to the puppy park

(That's right, I just called my dogs my children

Don't judge)

If any of you have decided to have dogs instead of kids

or love your dogs as much as I do

You get it

My lovely child is the one on the right.

Nala.

She is with cousins Mason and Viggo.

*Moose not pictured*

Awwww BABY!!!

At this point in my life

I don't know if I will ever want children

Ok, I probably will.

But no time soon.

Helpful hint!!!!

If you EVER want to know if you want children

or currently have kids and want to show them what it's like

Get a Puppy

Seriously.

Birth control for life

I swear.

At least a puppy is independent by 5 months

I can't imagine having a child.

ESPECIALLY after having puppies.

But the best part of my week:

This Studly Man!!

I am WAAAAY too spoiled.

I came home to this one night.

RIGHT??

I don't think I even love me that much!!

Ok, bad joke.

But seriously

Who

Does

This?

Army man does!

God I love him

He is away for a couple of days.

Funny, every time this happens

the wino comes out in me

MMMMMMM

Wine :)

So the lessons I learned and reflected on last week

~ It is never too late to start a relationship with someone. 10 years is a long time, but I am so lucky to be so young and have the opportunity to have a relationship with my sister again. Don't ever think that it is too late or too difficult.

~ Sometimes, things we think may be difficult turn out to be blessings. Trust me, having 3 dogs is not easy (Dog Sh*t everywhere, let me tell you). I am so thankful for my 3 puppies, as crazy as they may make me some days. I am so fortunate to have 3 beautiful puppies who love me. (Not to mention I feel super duper protected when Army Man is away!)

~And lastly, don't ever doubt your self worth. You must love yourself for someone to love you and for you to give love in return. (I will say that I feel pretty damn lucky)

CHEERS!

Dog Sh*t

So, now that I have given you a brief rundown of who I am and the way I think, I can share this story with you.

YAY!!! Story Time!!!

Come on! If I told you half of the stuff that goes through my mind without easing you into it, you would all think I am a freak!

I am sure most of us have had the awkward thought of 

 "Who is supposed to say I love you first?"

Yeah, that has crossed my mind, more times than what is probably normal.

I tend to over analyze things, just an FYI. I also have NO patience. Personality fault #'s 1&2. So, I'm sure you can imagine how this can become very conflicting at times. I have issues. Don't judge.

So, back to the big question of the day!!! WHO is it supposed to be?? I would love your opinions!

Funny story about how Army Man and I first swapped our "I love you's."

One fine summer morning, Army Man was getting ready for work and looking handsome like he always does in his uniform.

**SIDE NOTE!**

I get it now!! A man in uniform is sexy! It finally makes sense!!

Anyways, we had some visitors at our house a.k.a more dogs (surprising, I know). At the time, we had 2 dogs, and we were dog sitting our best friend's dogs. All 4 of their dogs.

So, for all of us math challenged  individuals in this world, that makes 6 dogs in our house.

Too many puppy dogs.

Thank god their dogs weigh as much as my foot, otherwise I might have just gone crazy.

As Army Man was walking out the door and giving me a farewell kiss, one big dog (the german sheppard, Shadow) and one little dog (named JD, he's the man!) simultaniously decided this was prime time to drop a duce in our front room.

More math time!! That's not 1, but 2 #2's in my living room at once.

Not. OK.

Who does that???!!! Wait, that's a silly question!  Apparently, JD and Shadow and Shadow is no little lady (see exhibit A below).

Oh, hello there pretty puppy.

Army Man looked so defeated. But how can you hate such cute faces?! And, let's not forget to mention, that Shadow is the favorite puppy dog of them all and can do no wrong.

Opportunity!!!

I looked at him and said:

 "I love you and promise I will never sh*t on your carpets."

Did that seriously just leave my mouth?? Yup, it did. *Insert face palm here* That was the first time I ever saw Army Man laugh that hard.

Great, he totally did NOT take me seriously. In all honesty, I wouldn't have taken me seriously.

And to my surprise, he grabbed me, kissed me, and told me he loved me too.

(this is where you saw "Awwwww")

Seriously??

One of the most UN-ROMANTIC situations was turned into a highlight of my life. In that moment, in the midst of rankness flowing through the air, I fell head over heels for Army Man.

So the next time an unexpected duce (or 2) enter your life, maybe you should think about the blessings they can bring.

And thank your dogs for their lovely presents.

Silly dogs.

Game. Set. MATCH

Love story time!!!

Awwwww

Ok seriously though.

A couple of years ago I uprooted my very comfy life.

Very comfy.

I moved out of my parents house on the west coast to a not so pretty state.
Mistake #1

For a boy.

Mistake #2

But, we all learn from our mistakes.

I think.
Yes.

After realizing the error of my not so perfect ways
(Let's not tell Army man I admitted to not being perfect)
Life fell apart.
Time to pick up the pieces.

I was not ready to move back home.
What 21 year old wants to move back in with mom and dad??
Not this one!

I decided to give myself 6 months to decide.
Create a comfy life here?
Maybe.
I knew no one here accept for people that I worked with.

Ok, backtrack.
I have a hard time staying single.
Personality fault #3 of mine.

So naturally
I wanted to date again.
But not someone from work.
FACT!!
Dating someone in the work place RARELY ends well
Trust me
I know.

Well, now I'm thinking...
I'm 21

I can just go meet someone at a bar I guess.
Get some free drinks.
Blah blah blah.

Yeah
I was not a fan of that idea.
BAD NEWS written all over that one!

The next thing to cross my mind:
Dating websites.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Seriously, little missy?
Who is 21 and on a dating website?
Apparently a lot of people.
Trust me, it surprised me as much as you.

So, being young and stupid with my $$$ decisions
I decided to spend a Benjamin.
Cause that was logical.

Best. Investment. EVER!
After only a couple of months
I met Army Man
Awwwwwwwwww <3

Trust me
There was an UNGODLY ammount of filtering the "winners"
from the not so ideal.

Don't get me wrong,
it was entertaining at times.
And at others,
I wanted to bang my head against a wall.

I winked first!!!

Oh, winking?
Winking is a feature on Match.com for when you are too nervous (or lazy) to send a message.
(Mine was probably the lazy issue, but lets not advertise that too much)

Basically,
from the time we first met, we have been inseperable.
I'm the first date that NEVER went home.
Creepy?
Probably.

So for all of you haters out there that laugh at dating websites...
Ok, you can laugh... But they really do work!

On a 100% serious note.
When I met Army man, I knew that I met someone special.
He is my other puzzle piece and completes me.
All those gushy country love songs on the radio FINALLY made sense.
It was about damn time...
I think we have been inseperable because we know that nightmare of a day is going to come soon.
The day he gets deployed.
Again.

This will be a whole new experience for me.
Reason #2 I wanted to start a blog :)
I am very lucky to have the "Army wives" on my side
and the great support system from my family and friends.

I believe that everything happens for a reason and leads us to greater things in life.

My quote of the day:

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you can learn to appreciate them when their right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself. And... sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. "
~Marilyn Monroe

You got that right sister.